A Lil help here??

      Hey Everyone! So I have just a quick question here...This is really directed at anyone thats ever been really heavy. So lately I have been feeling huge. Physically huge. Even though I'm smaller than I was. Does anyone else ever feel that way? Like no matter what you do, what you put on, you still feel fat? I mean, dont get me wrong, I know I have a long way to go, however I still feel huge. Any thoughts on this???
      So today I'm off to get my pedicure reward from Biggest Loser 1. Unfortunately its a bit over cast & muggy...was hoping to get a walk in, but we'll see what happens. Maybe some strength exercises instead.
       I look forward to what you all have to say! Have a great day!!!

A new day...

     Hi everyone! Hope you all had a wonderful Easter! I had family over my house and then had to go to work...boo! Oh well. I had a great time and ate and ate and ate! So today its back to day 1. Ralph and I are excited about the warmer weather that's been rolling in. Hopefully we can keep the rain at bay and get some great walks in!
     The morning started off really good today. We have a TON of fresh fruit in the house from Easter, so I made a great fruit salad and we had fruit and cottage cheese for breakfast. For anyone who's saying "ew" or has never tried it, cottage cheese is really great when you mix it with fruit. Plus its an AWESOME source of protein! For today's breakfast it was 2/3 of a cup of cottage cheese with 1/2 cup of fruit. The fruit salad I made was with sliced strawberries, apple chunks (skin on), and clementine wedges. Here's a neat trick I picked up somewhere along the line for your apples...When you are making a fruit salad or are cutting apples to eat later, add a few drops or so, depending on how much apple you have maybe as much as a tsp, of lemon juice. The lemon juice will keep your apples from turning brown and you can't even taste it!
     Another great idea that I have my sister to thank for is my new egg salad recipe. Egg is a great protein, however egg salad is loaded with mayo so it has a high fat content. So, what are you going to do with all those Easter eggs you colored with the kids? Let them go to waste? Oh heck no! Here's what you do...Peel and mash your boiled eggs. Then add about 1-2tsp of low fat mayo. Now here's the trick...obviously that's not enough mayo to blend your egg salad and make it nice and creamy, rather than dry and crumbly. So add to your mix...Mustard! Yes mustard! You can use whatever kind you like, yellow, spicy brown, Dijon, whatever. Add enough mustard to make your egg salad smooth. It gives it a nice kick and mustard is a spice, so you can eat as much as you want without consequence! YUM!!! I will be whipping some up for this evening as I am having company. Can't wait to nom nom nom on some!
     So enjoy those little tidbits of yumminess and keep the comments coming! Have a great day everyone!!!

And the winner is....

      Hey everyone, just got back home. Yes its a bit late, I know, but I had to do some retail therapy in the form of window shopping. Yes, you read right, I said window shopping. Unfortunately I was not the biggest loser. =(  So many congrats go out to my friend Heidi Mayhew who lost 9% body weight. She beat me by 1. Literally. I totaled out at 8% body weight lost. So unfortunately I spent the rest of the day in a bit of a funk.
        But now here's the good news. The weigh in totals that I have been promising everyone. First off on this particular journey I started in November, well before the biggest loser. I weighed in at a whopping 247lbs. If you recall from previous posts I had lost 125lbs from my surgery and weighed 178lbs at my lowest. So from that point I had gained 69lbs. OUCH!!! That hurts!! But anywho, moving on, at the start of biggest loser in January I weighed in at 230lbs. So at that point I was already down 17lbs! Yay me!! Yesterday when I had my final weigh in for biggest loser I weighed in at 210lbs. So for biggest loser I was down 20lbs, and my grand total weight lost up to yesterday has been 37lbs. On top of that I would like to add that this morning when I weighed myself, as I usually do every few days, I weighed in at 208.8lbs. So round up to 209 for the sake of argument and I am down 38lbs total so far! Yay me!!
       So where do I go from here? First things first...a pedicure! Yes, I am giving myself a treat for all my hard work. After that, the weight loss plan continues....PLUS....dah dah daaaa daaaaaaahhhhhhh.....The Biggest Loser 2 will be starting up on May 15!!! We discussed over lunch today and set the date. May 15 will be the beginning of a new 12 week contest. This time people have warmer weather and a better opportunity to participate! I cant wait to see who jumps on board! And I definitely plan on WINNING this one! The finale this time will be a pool party at my friend Sharon's house. So I have no choice but to be bathing suit presentable!
        So keep tabs on my progress, follow me here and on facebook, because the second round is gonna be far more intense. More workouts, more recipes, and an awesome weight loss at the end of it all!! Thanks for all of your love and support!!! <3<3<3

D Day!!!

      Hi everyone! If you haven't been following me on Facebook, yesterday was weigh in day for the biggest loser. Today is the luncheon where we find out who the winners are! I'm so excited! So we will be heading out shortly to the California Pizza at Foxwoods to have lunch and see who's walking out $300 richer. (FINGERS CROSSED) I will update as soon as I get home. Wish me luck!!!!

Happy News

      Hi everybody!! Just wanted to drop a quick little post before I run out the door. The kids are on vacation this week, so my posts may be scarce, but I will try to get on as much as possible. Yesterday Ralph called me from the store with incredible news. He was in Walmart and decided to just try on a pair of size 36 jeans. He happily discovered that they fit! While in the dressing room I convinced him to , just for shits & giggles, try on a pair of 34. I figured if the 36 fit as well as he said, that the 34 would either be too small still or fit snug. He tried them on and was ecstatic at the fact that they fit PERFECTLY! My hunny, who at the beginning of this journey was wearing a size 40, has not only lost weight & lost his diabetes...but he has also lost 3 pant sizes!! I'm so proud of you baby!!!
       As for me, I guess just mentioning the word plateau caused my body to react! I posted about it a few days ago, and now the weight loss has kicked back into gear! Yay!!! That is good news considering the biggest loser ends this week. I plan on weighing in soon and will let everyone know the results of the contest after Thursdays celebratory lunch.
        Until then I am going to keep busy, play with the kids, and try to get in as much exercise as the weather will allow. Off to the playground with the kids! Gotta walk off some more pounds while they swing from the monkey bars! LOL

Wondering...

     Ok so I have a few things on my mind today. Hoping to get some resolution. First off, before I start, I want to once again thank the people who have been leaving comments and supporting me. You words of encouragement are deeply appreciated. On that note, I was wondering how many people are actually reading my posts. Of the people who have contacted me or left comments, I just wonder how many more people are reading and not commenting? I guess I am just hoping people are actually getting something out of this and that I am not just rambling for the sake of rambling. LOL...
      Anyway, with that said I have reached a bit of a plateau. =(  I have weighed the same for almost 2 weeks now and have not made any progress. Anyone have any ideas on what I can do to restart the weight loss?? I am still following the plan and sticking to it. Just a bit of a let down when you are doing so well and then dead stop. lol Any hints, tips or tricks would be great!

Awesome recipe ideas and minor setbacks

       So recently I have been flipping through my recipe book (the WW one referred to in my last post), and I have been trying new recipe ideas. Some things to think about...Veggies are almost always a freebie! Depending on the veggie, things like potatoes, corn, peas & beans (not green beans) are starchy and therefore considered a bread.
        I love making my totally spontaneous Veggie Soup. Basically as long as they are freebie veggies, you can use what you want. I make mine with Knorr Vegetable Bouillon, (refer to package for cups of water/cube), then I throw in all the veggies I want. Its an awesome snack for when you are hungry between meals and don't want to burn through your allotments for the day. Or you can use it as a meal and add meat for protein. I make a large stock pot and freeze a bunch so as to always have it on hand.
         Another recipe I tried and totally fell in love with is a veggie cheese bake. It has all vegetables and shredded provolone cheese. You bake it and you can have it for lunch or dinner. YUM! Counts as veg and protein. And finally, yesterday I tried a recipe for the first time called Veggie Cheese burgers. There is no meat in these burgers, but you would never know it!! You eat it without the bun, but can still top it however you want (just be careful...ketchup has loads of sugar!!!) We had ours with mustard, a tsp of ketchup, pickles, pepperoncini, and jalapenjos. MMMMMM!!! If anyone would like copies of any of the recipes I use, feel free to ask!
           Yesterday I also started working out. Previously I was doing Zumba on the Wii until I sprained a ligament in my left foot and was told to take a break from that. So using my home gym I did some crunches, curl ups and lat pulls(??). My arms were sore, my stomach was sore, but I think it was a good beginning work out. Was going to attempt more exercise today, however the head cold that has recently attacked my household finally caught up with me. =(  I woke up feeling like someone hit me in the face with a brick. So not cool! So instead I'm catching some rest and taking dayquil and sudafed  so I can make it to work tonight without issue. Hopefully with enough rest and meds this will pass in 24 hours and I can get back on track!
         Many thanks to all of you who have messaged me and sent me support! I really do hope that people find this blog to be helpful! Please let me know if you would like to see anything specific!!!

Tripping down memory lane so I can focus on the future...

    So first off let me say a quick thank you to those of you who have already shown me love & support!! Also, Chris...hows this font?? LOL Anyway...

    So in order to share my journey forward with everyone, I thought perhaps a quick look into my past may be helpful. No I will not be beginning with something coy like "it was a dark and stormy night..." however I think that in order for people to understand a struggle, they need to see the whole picture.
    When I was a child I was fairly normal and healthy until I reached third grade. At that point in my life I think I went through some pretty tough times for a kid. I was bullied and picked on, didn't have many friends, and began rebelling in my school work. I would refuse to do assignments and spent a good deal of time in the principals office. My mother can attest to this. LOL. Anyway, at that point, if you look at any of the pictures from my childhood, you can see the difficulties reflected in my weight gain. Obviously as a child that made me miss popular! (NOT!)
      So lets fast forward a bit now. I spent the remainder of my "school days" overweight and with only a handful of close friends, who I am happy to say have always stuck by me and are still my friends to this day!! (Love you guys!) College was nightmarish. As most girls go off to school and worry about gaining 10-15lbs, I was already overweight and again the subject of ridicule. Imagine being in a theatre program where you are constantly thrown in front of people (by your own choice) and those same people who are suppose to help nurture your creativity and support your learning are instead ostracizing you and treating you like the dirt you already feel like. So after 5 1/2 years of college and within 2 semesters of a degree the inevitable (well if you were there you would have seen it as inevitable) happened. My parents got divorced. Even though it was inevitable, it was still painful. My mother moved out with my brother and I stayed with my father while my sister was in college out of state. Things were difficult for me. I never really got along well with my father to begin with, and now here I was living with him, with no one else to turn to. I became depressed, dropped out of college and threw myself into working at a job that would not get me anywhere.
       About this time I was introduced, by my father, to a co worker of his. This man would incredibly quickly become my husband. If I knew then what I know now I would have run screaming!!!  Over the course of 7 months I would move in with, marry, and become pregnant with this man. EEK! Oh well, depression makes people do CRAZY things. Plus, this man said he loved me. Which, when you are 225lbs is hard to come by, or so I thought.
       After the birth of my wonderful, beautiful daughter, I spent the next two years ballooning up to a whopping 303lbs. I had had enough. My body hurt all the time, I was MISERABLE, I couldn't play with my daughter, I was short of breath and people were very worried about me and my health. I started researching Gastric Bypass Surgery, and by the time my daughter turned 2 I was prepped and ready to go. Three days after my daughters second birthday, I went under the knife. It was not as easy as I thought it would be, and it took its toll in far wider ways than I could have ever imagined. The first 6 weeks after surgery you are only allowed a liquid diet. OH MISERY! How much I grew to hate soup!! LOL. Plus about 3 months or so after my surgery my gallbladder failed. Of course the wonderful doctors at Fatima hospital in RI were all over me demanding to know why I was having pancreatitis as this is generally caused by drinking too my alcohol! Plus they wanted to take my gallbladder out on the spot, which would have killed me. Thankfully I was cognitive enough to request a transfer to RI hospital, where I had had my original surgery, and where my surgeon told me how close I was to being killed by the other doctors...YIKES!!! So after the pancreatitis went away and I had my gallbladder removed, things were going a lot more smoothly until, I became pregnant. Now ordinarily this wouldn't have been an issue, except for the fact that I was only 8 months post op, and the surgeon told me that I shouldn't get pregnant until at least a year post op. WHOOPS! So my pregnancy was closely monitored by my OBGYN and the surgeon. I continued to lose weight, even though the baby was getting bigger. Everyone was pleased, except for my husband. In retrospect I suppose I should have noticed it much earlier, but when your happy, little things don't cross your radar like they do when your depressed.
      After the birth of my beautiful baby boy I was down to 178lbs. I had lost approx 125lbs and I was the happiest I had ever been. I could clothes shop and feel good about it, I was wearing skirts & shorts & cute shoes. I was sooooo happy. However, my husband was becoming more and more miserable. In short, my weight loss, which made me so happy, killed his happiness. He noticed people noticing me and he didn't like it. It caused fights, which I am sad to say were quite vicious. He became depressed, couldn't hold a job, drank more, cared less. Eventually it came to a head when I moved out. I went to live with a friend for about 6 months, during which time he got even worse and I got a lawyer. Under the advisement of my lawyer, I moved back into our home, only to be attacked by my husband.
     During this time of misery and hardship, the pounds came back, with a vengence. I was now back over 200lbs and the depression set back in. In the midst of all my trauma I met a man who would change my outlook of my life. My love, Ralph, came to me at a time when I needed kindness and support. He was and still is the most wonderful person in the world to me. He treated me with respect, he cared for me and my children, and he was supportive in all my decisions. When he came into my life I weighed in at 217lbs. Through the time of my separation and divorce I had lost about 15 to 20 lbs. I wasnt feeling great about myself and the weight loss came more due to lack of will to eat than anything else, but when Ralph came into the picture he made me happy again. Unfortunately sometimes happiness is accompanied by weight gain. LOL. So two years into our relationship I weighed in at 247lbs. I was never happier with life, but my body was another story.
     About this time two of my friends from work were talking about this really great plan they were following to lose weight. My close friends Charlie and Valerie were using the Weight Watchers Quick Start Program to not only lose weight, but train themselves how to eat properly. I found this concept intriguing, and watched their progress fairly closely. I watched as Valerie became lost in her clothing and I was overjoyed the day Charlie said to me "look at this!!!" (pointing to his ass) He was thrilled at the fact that he lost several pants sizes and bought new pants! (This was also extremely hilarious! You had to be there!!) Anyway, I decided it was time for a change. I went onto Amazon.com and ordered a copy of the book for 99cents!! Best 99 cents I have ever invested I might add! It took a while for us to get started. The book was a little confusing, and Ralph, who LOVES to cook, was a tad obstinate. However starting mid November 2010, we got underway. I'd love to say it was easy and we did great, but that would be suuuuuch a lie!!! LOL We picked the worst time to think about dieting. With Thanksgiving and Christmas looming, and Ralph crying for his rice & beans, I dug in my heels and pushed towards my weight loss.
      The first two months were awful. we didn't lose much, we were stuck in a menu rut and the holidays were killer. But January came and I dug in harder. I started working two jobs and the menu became a bit boring for it. I stuck with the same plan for several weeks at a time out of sheer laziness and exhaustion. But the weight began to come off and we were happy. Finally we were seeing results. Then at work, a couple of girls were discussing having a girls only biggest loser contest. Motivation!!! We decided that in order for it to work, we were gonna have to buckle down and really focus on this plan. I started sitting with the book and picking out recipes, things that spoke to our varied palettes. We started exploring new food options, rather than the same old "italian or spanish" typical foods. We have made cooking fun again and enjoy spending time with each other in the kitchen creating new things and enjoying the fruits of our labors. Through the biggest loser contest I gained more focus and determination to reach my goals and become healthy. Now mind you, the biggest loser isnt over yet...so I'm not going to reveal my total pounds lost...LOL I have one week to go and I am determined to lose enough to win! But in a week I will reveal my weight loss total for the contest and overall, so don't worry! I would however like to share that Ralph has lost 20lbs over all and has lost his diabetes. This is huge for us! With his sugars under control, without the use of medication, he can feel better about himself and his confidence in this plan has become even stronger! He is my biggest supporter and now hes even more so, because as Charlie and Valerie pointed out, its a lifestyle change...not a diet. For the longest time it seemed like the "diet" would end and we would go back to the same old eating habits. But now, all that has changed. We can see portions for what they are, we can tell how many servings if we eat out. We can say no to things much easier now than we could before. Why would we throw that away and go backwards??? LOL
      So now, from this point on in this blog I will be sharing my daily struggles, what recipes are completely awesome, and which ones are not so much. How my "exercise" or lack of is going...lol. And any time anyone has a question I will be more than happy to answer it. (just don't ask about the weight loss til after next week! lol) So feel free to comment, suggest, share with friends, or just say hi! Lots of love and support guys!!!

Getting Started...

Ok, so thanks to my cousin Jen, I now have the vehicle with which to bring to you my updates, trials and tribulations. Thanks Jen!!! With people constantly asking me what I am doing, or congratulating me on my "obvious" weight loss, I figured the best thing to do would be to start sharing in a fairly regular way, what I am doing and how good or bad things are going. If you think this will help you with your own journeys or someone you may know, please feel free to share your own comments, or share my blog with others.